Honestly i don’t know whats worse.. losing you or losing the comfortability i felt with you. Losing the long nights of lust and sex, or the long conversations we found ourselves having at random. I dont know what hurts more, believing that i may have fallen in love with you somewhere in between your laugh and smile  or that you never loved me after all the long talks and all the reassurance. I dont know whats better.. knowing that i stuck it out til the end and didnt leave myself to wonder if things could work out, or knowing that i left you behind because without a doubt someone better will find me. All though i dont know these things, i do know that im better off without you , and im going to spend everymoment reminding myself that . 

Boy you tell me that you miss me, but you cant miss what wasnt there

many times i sat up crying, many times i shed some tears.

You said i was a priority, that was my biggest fear

the priority was sex.. i was just always here.

Between us there was pillows and covers baby we were lovers we were just makin love to one another .

I believed you when you said you needed me, I never left, but between me and you there was nothing.. I woulda never guessed.

can you imagine the feelings i felt, the healing in my heart, the loss of regret . To hold you in my arms was hope that i lost when i found out our dreams were the sheets tryna get the best of me .

Between us we shared pillows and blankets,

i dont even wanna talk about the laughs we shared in reality they weren’t there cus between us there was nothing that meant something, but noone likes to be alone so you deal with what your given and sometimes lifes not fair.

Do you know what it feels like to put your all into something that isnt worth it? Between us it was never perfect but i deal with it becasue in my eyes you were worth it.

What could have been between us was nothing but a dream, an idea that two people could could be happy and everything would fit together perfect at the seams.. but this is reality and love only happens in dreams..So between us nothing is ever what it seems. 

—-<3 

do so much for one person, yet continuously feeling unappreciated. Is your own happiness to much to sacrifice for someone one elses ? it is when your losing more than your gaining and when your worth is less than where it should be

everyone’s always telling me sometimes i need to speak from my heart and not only my mind, but for once my heart was wrong.. you weren’t right for me our relationship was lies and in the end im the one hurt and confused.

(Source: bubbleteas, via i-spill-kisses-with-love)

I hear you knock knock knock baby come on up
I hope you got got got something in yo’ cup
Cause im three shots deep and I aint tryna sleep
Get your redbull on cause im ready

You’ve been playin hard to get with me all night
We both know exactly what you want right
Don’t tell me what you won’t do
Tell me what you gon’ do whatchu gon’ do

Once I throw on this bowchickawowwow
Whatchu gonna say
You act like you gon leave
But I know that you gon’ stay
Break it down dicky downdown
Girl dont even play
Once I set the mood right Ima make sound like

For the first time in a long tome i had a good day .

days like this show me that there is hope <3

lets hope this continues

saying “im fine” is the simplest answer. but really im not fine. im far from it.I cant sleep at night . i sleep allday. i cry to much i constantly let my mind wander. i always think im not good enough i havent done anything just for me lately. And nothing seems to feel right anymore. i miss you im going crazy without you.but your gone and maybe its whats best <3